The harder that I try to do that it keeps backfire on me

Today was the day where my seniors show their most true moments.Every corner where I go sawing my senior sitting at a corner crying.Sawing the tears running through their face and those bloodshot eyes all swollen.Making me understand that in the future if I never study well,I will be in their shoes.All alone crying,regretting for not studying.But I don't want to be like them,I want to be the other seniors who did well for their O's sawing how they smile and in their eyes a sense of relief.My brother,Hui Chao, the person who protected me as I grow up the guy who sheltered me whether rain or shine.The guy who make me cry,bullying me,making me laugh.The person who taught me what is respect and the person who told me how to be a better man.A person who was there whenever I was in trouble.But everytime,I annoyed him,making him pissed of for no reason.Being childish even when he and scolded me.He was one of my pillar of support.I went to look for him after school asking his results.He told me calmly that he failed and never get in and will retain.In his eyes,I could see his disappointment in his eyes,the sadness,fear.This is not what I expected from the guy who protected me.I look up to him but this was the 2nd time I saw him being like this,the face where he was so different from his usual self,the joker who always make people laugh.In my heart,is like a knife stabbed in seeing how he did.But I did not felt ashamed of him though because he is still my brother.Today in school nothing much,just general introduction of teachers and students etc. and went for FT LS and ended school with a Science talk...